3 posts tagged “writer”

A few selected tracks from an advance copy of his new album, so beautiful. I love the vast sweeping melodies, it awakens ideas that I didn't even know I had. At the End of the Day makes me think of some sort of steampunk end battle. Ever Falling is a strange love scene. The Killa's Vanilla, it's an ascent to power and a descent into madness. I just love music today :)

{Disclaimer: I, Sara Ksenia, have offended the erotica literary community. Apparently, it pays little, and I'm comparing writers of that genre to waitresses or third world sex slaves, who are forced into the trade unwillingly. Please, remove twigs completely from your ass before reading any of my material. I am not the authority of everything, and these are just my opinions. Thanks.}

Quite an enticing title eh! Now, when we all think writer, we think of someone who lounges about all day, drinks, smokes, has plenty of sex, an exciting life! They somehow always get their manuscript out on cocktail napkins and get it to a publisher who showers them with riches.

If you're into that sort of writing, you will be poor, living off your wages from burger king or wal-mart. Things like that just don't happen! Maybe if you're well established and the girlfriend of a Columbian drug lord... No, really, you need to get real.

So first things first! What sort of writing jobs are readily available?

Business writing; Put that know-how to work! If you have an Associate's in Business, and can't find a job, write for those sleazy markets that need you! I hate business writing, you basically tell business's how to network, write newsletters, write business plans, things like that. I'm a neo-hippy, so I typically avoid this kind of work. If you know how to do it, please, do it! It pays very well.

Technical writing;  You know those help files in programs? That lengthy manual that came with that exercise bike you swear every year you're going to assemble and get healthy with? Technical writers write those manuals. If you're a technical writer, you'll be writing complex reports, and need handy access to equation editors. If it's tedious and no one else wants to write it, it's probably technical. It also pays very well!

Copywriting; Not copy right, copywrite! Content, advertising. Remember the constant emphasis on rhetoric you heard in Speech and English courses? This is what it was preparing you for. You will be in charge of persuading your client's readers/audience to buy their crap! This is, by far, the easiest and best job to get. You are usually supplied with key words by your client, and you craft a bit of advertising, or a bit of content.

Editing/Proofreading; This can be the easiest or hardest job to find. One, most clients are demanding doctoral degrees these days to edit. It's most likely because they are sourcing work to you that is college term papers and you'll know what to look for. I hate those companies, avoid them like the plague! You need a very good grasp of the English language, written and spoken. You'll need to understand proofreading symbols, what asterisks, ampersands and tildes  are. Proofreading is typically lower level, e.g. GED or HS education's the only requirement. I've currently got a continuous gig going like this, and it's not very hard. They pay you by the page completed, which is usually 10-15 cents a page. it may seem like a low number, but once you learn the system, you can easily do a hundred pages in an hour and pick up a nice check to pad your other excursions. Electricity is a nice thing to have!

Writing; Honest to God writing. Writing articles for blogs, music magazines, ezines, you name it. There are regular calls for reviews, poetry, prose (stories), freelance reporting, etc.  These are the jobs everyone dreams of, until  they learn about the pay. Anywhere from a flat rate for an article (500-1000 words) for say 30-40 dollars, or a per a word fee. Thirty-five cents a word doesn't seem like much, but it can add up. Don't just jump on the flat fee sum, sometimes you'll get screwed.

Preparing for the Big Gig
You've figured out just what field of writing might suit you. You're ready to hit all the job boards, but wait! You have no samples, no clips, no CV! Until you have more writing experience under your belt, don't even bother creating a CV (curriculum vitae, a fancy little piece of paper that puffs up your resume). Avoid jobs which ask for a CV until you have enough experience to submit to them, or you'll get a big fat rejection letter.

If you've not yet wrote anything professionally, make up some samples for things relating to the job you're applying for. Make sure they're labeled sample, as to not confuse them from  being real sourced work that can be found somewhere. You need at least four samples, and if they're online, that is VERY good. There's nothing an editor hates more than having to open an attachment or scroll through a lengthy email. If they say paste them into the body, follow the instructions.

Holy crap batman, I am ready!
Yes, young one, you are ready to embark on your journey, almost. Appearances! Payments! Things to consider! YES THINGS!

One, make a new email address that has nothing to do with any other email address/username of yours on the internet. You can be damned sure an employer will google your name to see if you are a member of that "420-4-ever" myspace group, or if you've published erotic fiction to pad your income a little.

Two, you need a paypal account. Most clients love to pay with paypal now, since it's instantaneous, and there's only a four day wait to pop it into your bank account.

Three, you may not get a job right away. It takes time. Don't quit your day job!

Four, on writing for free. Many gigs will list as paying, and when you talk to them, they will tell you that they won't pay you. "It'll be great exposure!", they say. "We'll pay you when we get money from our project!", they say. Honestly, if you need to pad your resume a tiny bit, do a few of these gigs if they are simple and small. Do not do anything mammoth for free. They wouldn't hire a painter to paint their home, and then tell them they'll recommend them to all their friends would they? Of course not, because the painting crew would but a foot up their ass. Artsits need to learn to put their own foot up tightwad content seekers' asses! Your work and time is valuable, and you should be paid SOMETHING for it.

Five, on bidding on projects. You may have seen bidding sites where someone is willing to do copywriting for a whole website for five dollars, and is living in another country. You get pissed, because you can't live on five dollars. What I suggest is emailing the project owner, and asking him, would he rather have it done cheaply, done right, or done fast? It's like the construction worker's triangle. You can have right and fast, but it won't be cheap. You can have it cheap and right, but it will be slow. Don't try and outbid someone who doesn't value their own services, it's just not worth it.

Now, you are ready, commence the great search!
Now here comes the fun part, places to find work!
Craigslist.org, I swear to god, has tons of writing gigs. Avoid any that say " no pay, but exposure and byline". Sure, I want people to read my stuff, pretend I'm a big man, and not be able to pay my damn bills. Fuck that!
On Craigslist.org, select your city, or any city, and type wrg after the address. This is the addy for writing gigs.

http://www.online-writing-jobs.com/ It's a bank of low paying, high paying, and non-paying gigs, updated maybe 3-4 times a week.

http://writersrow.com/deborahng/freelancewritingjobs.html Deborah Ng's writing site. She lists gigs 5 times a week, she's very nice, and she helps alot of people. If you find a gig through her, let her know, it makes her happy for her efforts.

In the end, I hope this helps a bit. Freelancing is a bitch, but fun to do. It gives you more freedom to sit around all day!

Getting your website online nowadays has become as common as getting your 70-290 exam. You don't need a certification or advanced skills for that unless you are not looking to promote your website with techniques like search engine marketing and advertising. You just need to set up your domain using a simple domain registration wizard and select a good web hosting company. Once you're done with that, you can select a good web design easily without working manually on that.

So, this is a guide for the new writer, and what you're going to go through. The downward spiral of insanity and marshmallow creme eating evenings whilst chainsmoking! The grotesque sex that will happen after you've been hunched over in agony at an unfaithful keyboard, just to pop your spine back into alignment! The fame and riches you'll never aspire to!

First, you will be an English major. You'll learn terms like elipses and rhetoric.You'll try to get into those creative writing classes, but you're stuck in Comp 2 again because your teacher is a "Thundercunt". Your clever wit will incite cheers among your peers, but your grades will suffer.

Second, you will come to hate college. Why take math and psychiatry (to better understand your damn characters, that's why!) when you just have ideas bursting out of your head! You will drop out, saying so long motherfuckers, I'll be the next NYTimes Bestseller in a year (hahahaha. You optimistic little shit, you are about to be gobbled up by the freelancing machine!)  !

Thirdly, you will begin to live as a creative person comes to live in their environment of creativity. You will eat things out of tins and jars that are not heated. Your husband/partner will begin to eyeball you for writing constant posts on your vox account and never publishing them for others to view. "But honey, that story about the hooker and the midget was so touching!" they will tell you, but you will not believe them. You cannot bear the criticism, you will only procrastinate and slowly ferment in your own insanity.

Fourth, you will wear the same clothes for a long time. You might shower, because the smell of smoke and grime on your body makes you feel heavy. But it costs money to wash clothes, and there really are four stages of clean aren't there? Except underware, don't recycle that..........

Fifth, you will begin to google freelance writers market. You balk at the idea of thirty five cents a word, that's only 175$ for a 500 word article (dear god, that is good money, take it!) and foolishly apply for jobs that return your writing samples with all sorts of corrections and rude comments. You should have posted your articles to vox first.....

Sixth, you will begin to lose track of day and night. Finally, you get that gig you've been pining for. Your spouse will award you with a carton of smokes and a wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. You haven't eaten in awhile, because you're both really cheap and trying to stretch that 450$ left in the bank account. You keep the heat turned off, so you huddle together for warmth, atleast the love from being insane is good.

Seventh, you learn your first gig is screwing you over. They coo you with lies such as "Well, give us the product, and once we sell some schwag/get advertising revenue, we'll pay you" or, my utmost favorite, which I have gotten as a graphic designer as well, "If you do this for me, you'll get fantastic exposure and I'll refer you to others." Yeah. Okay, this will happen no matter what sort of creativity they're trying to sell you. GET A CONTRACT IN WRITING. I don't care if they digitally sign it, email holds up in a court of law!

Eight, you get a horribly bad job that humbles you. You will get very depressed, and sleep for a day. Then  you will awaken, understanding there's other jobs. Do you have to maybe work part-time? Nay, live off your spouse... heh. Brian is going to kill me. You will write relevant writing samples, I don't care if it's for that "tea blog" ad on craigslist, and you will sell it for 25$. You will use that to further launch your resume, and take as many little shite jobs as humanly possible, and gain enough money to pay for rent the  next month. By that time, you will understand that freelancing is a horribly bad idea, but you will overcome. Through enduring grow strong!

Ninth, you will learn to budget. You will smoke GPC cigarettes, and open the window to let the cats and said spouse breathe. You will not buy anything at the market that comes in a colorful package. You will long for the days when you had Thundercunt looming over you, but you will make it! You may only pull 400-500 a month, but you will live. You will gain experiance points! Struggles only make you a better human being, and help you be better with whatever craft is your own.

The tenth, and final step; is survive for six months. If you can do this for six months, and be alright, keep at it. Throw away any thought of going  back, if you're loving what you're doing. If you're becoming a hunchback, get a chair with arms. If you can't afford smokes any more, well, it's bad for you anyway. If you can't afford to eat... well, learn to cook! Adapt... and you will survive somehow. Doing what you want is a life worth living.