Freelancing Follies; How to become a Paid Writer

{Disclaimer: I, Sara Ksenia, have offended the erotica literary community. Apparently, it pays little, and I'm comparing writers of that genre to waitresses or third world sex slaves, who are forced into the trade unwillingly. Please, remove twigs completely from your ass before reading any of my material. I am not the authority of everything, and these are just my opinions. Thanks.}

Quite an enticing title eh! Now, when we all think writer, we think of someone who lounges about all day, drinks, smokes, has plenty of sex, an exciting life! They somehow always get their manuscript out on cocktail napkins and get it to a publisher who showers them with riches.

If you're into that sort of writing, you will be poor, living off your wages from burger king or wal-mart. Things like that just don't happen! Maybe if you're well established and the girlfriend of a Columbian drug lord... No, really, you need to get real.

So first things first! What sort of writing jobs are readily available?

Business writing; Put that know-how to work! If you have an Associate's in Business, and can't find a job, write for those sleazy markets that need you! I hate business writing, you basically tell business's how to network, write newsletters, write business plans, things like that. I'm a neo-hippy, so I typically avoid this kind of work. If you know how to do it, please, do it! It pays very well.

Technical writing;  You know those help files in programs? That lengthy manual that came with that exercise bike you swear every year you're going to assemble and get healthy with? Technical writers write those manuals. If you're a technical writer, you'll be writing complex reports, and need handy access to equation editors. If it's tedious and no one else wants to write it, it's probably technical. It also pays very well!

Copywriting; Not copy right, copywrite! Content, advertising. Remember the constant emphasis on rhetoric you heard in Speech and English courses? This is what it was preparing you for. You will be in charge of persuading your client's readers/audience to buy their crap! This is, by far, the easiest and best job to get. You are usually supplied with key words by your client, and you craft a bit of advertising, or a bit of content.

Editing/Proofreading; This can be the easiest or hardest job to find. One, most clients are demanding doctoral degrees these days to edit. It's most likely because they are sourcing work to you that is college term papers and you'll know what to look for. I hate those companies, avoid them like the plague! You need a very good grasp of the English language, written and spoken. You'll need to understand proofreading symbols, what asterisks, ampersands and tildes  are. Proofreading is typically lower level, e.g. GED or HS education's the only requirement. I've currently got a continuous gig going like this, and it's not very hard. They pay you by the page completed, which is usually 10-15 cents a page. it may seem like a low number, but once you learn the system, you can easily do a hundred pages in an hour and pick up a nice check to pad your other excursions. Electricity is a nice thing to have!

Writing; Honest to God writing. Writing articles for blogs, music magazines, ezines, you name it. There are regular calls for reviews, poetry, prose (stories), freelance reporting, etc.  These are the jobs everyone dreams of, until  they learn about the pay. Anywhere from a flat rate for an article (500-1000 words) for say 30-40 dollars, or a per a word fee. Thirty-five cents a word doesn't seem like much, but it can add up. Don't just jump on the flat fee sum, sometimes you'll get screwed.

Preparing for the Big Gig
You've figured out just what field of writing might suit you. You're ready to hit all the job boards, but wait! You have no samples, no clips, no CV! Until you have more writing experience under your belt, don't even bother creating a CV (curriculum vitae, a fancy little piece of paper that puffs up your resume). Avoid jobs which ask for a CV until you have enough experience to submit to them, or you'll get a big fat rejection letter.

If you've not yet wrote anything professionally, make up some samples for things relating to the job you're applying for. Make sure they're labeled sample, as to not confuse them from  being real sourced work that can be found somewhere. You need at least four samples, and if they're online, that is VERY good. There's nothing an editor hates more than having to open an attachment or scroll through a lengthy email. If they say paste them into the body, follow the instructions.

Holy crap batman, I am ready!
Yes, young one, you are ready to embark on your journey, almost. Appearances! Payments! Things to consider! YES THINGS!

One, make a new email address that has nothing to do with any other email address/username of yours on the internet. You can be damned sure an employer will google your name to see if you are a member of that "420-4-ever" myspace group, or if you've published erotic fiction to pad your income a little.

Two, you need a paypal account. Most clients love to pay with paypal now, since it's instantaneous, and there's only a four day wait to pop it into your bank account.

Three, you may not get a job right away. It takes time. Don't quit your day job!

Four, on writing for free. Many gigs will list as paying, and when you talk to them, they will tell you that they won't pay you. "It'll be great exposure!", they say. "We'll pay you when we get money from our project!", they say. Honestly, if you need to pad your resume a tiny bit, do a few of these gigs if they are simple and small. Do not do anything mammoth for free. They wouldn't hire a painter to paint their home, and then tell them they'll recommend them to all their friends would they? Of course not, because the painting crew would but a foot up their ass. Artsits need to learn to put their own foot up tightwad content seekers' asses! Your work and time is valuable, and you should be paid SOMETHING for it.

Five, on bidding on projects. You may have seen bidding sites where someone is willing to do copywriting for a whole website for five dollars, and is living in another country. You get pissed, because you can't live on five dollars. What I suggest is emailing the project owner, and asking him, would he rather have it done cheaply, done right, or done fast? It's like the construction worker's triangle. You can have right and fast, but it won't be cheap. You can have it cheap and right, but it will be slow. Don't try and outbid someone who doesn't value their own services, it's just not worth it.

Now, you are ready, commence the great search!
Now here comes the fun part, places to find work!
Craigslist.org, I swear to god, has tons of writing gigs. Avoid any that say " no pay, but exposure and byline". Sure, I want people to read my stuff, pretend I'm a big man, and not be able to pay my damn bills. Fuck that!
On Craigslist.org, select your city, or any city, and type wrg after the address. This is the addy for writing gigs.

http://www.online-writing-jobs.com/ It's a bank of low paying, high paying, and non-paying gigs, updated maybe 3-4 times a week.

http://writersrow.com/deborahng/freelancewritingjobs.html Deborah Ng's writing site. She lists gigs 5 times a week, she's very nice, and she helps alot of people. If you find a gig through her, let her know, it makes her happy for her efforts.

In the end, I hope this helps a bit. Freelancing is a bitch, but fun to do. It gives you more freedom to sit around all day!

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